Being Roman Catholic isn't always easy. I'm one of those that goes to Church every weekend, tries to be good. Well today is Ash Wednesday, and one of the Catholic traditions is to go to Mass and receive ashes on our foreheads (when we are marked with ashes, the priest or minister says, "remember man that you are dust and unto dust you shall return" or "turn away from sin and be faithful to the Gospel". Oh, if you're not Catholic, it's a long, long story. Never mind that for now.
In any event, at lunchtime today I went to a local chapel for Mass. Got my ashes from a sweaty, heavy-handed (and over-zealous, in my opinion) minister. I had a black cross the size of a small donkey on my forehead. I was totally humiliated. I went back to work and the first guy that saw me (obviously not a Cathlolic) did a double-take and gave me a horrifed look.
I immediately went to the nearest bathroom and tried to scrub the black goo off my forehead, but only succeeded in making a huge greay smear. You don't use water to remove ashes, by the way - you let it dry and DUST it off. A co-worker came in and saw what I was doing, and proceeded to tell me that she has such a huge halo, she doesn't need ashes.
And then the guilt trip set in. Did I deny my religion (or Christ Himself) by rubbing off those ashes? Or was I following His instruction to go off to a quiet place to pray by yourself rather than displaying in public that you are fasting?
I am confused. You would think that after 45 years on the face of this earth, I would have stuff like this figured out. Not so. I have a lot to learn. And it ain't over til the fat lady sings.
1 comment:
Well I'm not Catholic, so I don't know much about Ash Wednesday or ashes on your forehead.
But I do know that symbolism is used to help people understand and remember. Sometimes we mortals are so thick-headed we can't understand a straight message, but have to hear something a bit cryptic that makes us think before we actually get it. Also, we quickly forget things and get lost in daily life.
You, clearly, have not forgotten about the ashes, so I'd say the symbolism was not lost on you, even though you tried ot wash it off. Therefore, I don't think you denied your faith or anything along those lines.
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