It Finally Happened

I have been fearful that someday I would finally be forced to speak with my ex-boss - the one whose company I recently left on a negative note. Well, it finally happened. He called me today. It happened in the course of a normal workday - when I left his company back in December, I returned to a job that still had dealings with him. It was an awkward situation for me. I had hoped that I would never have to speak to him again. I had hoped that my supervisor would cover for me.

It didn't work out that way.

After the initial shock of hearing his voice, I composed myself and was able to converse with him normally. It finally happened, and I guess I am relieved that I no longer need to fear that first encounter. He had the gall to ask me if I 'got what I wanted' in my new job. I don't really remember what I told him. I think I said something rather lame, like, "It's a job."

I do remember that I forgot to tell him that I got a $15K pay increase over what he had paid me, plus benefits that he never offered. Sure, I loved the work that I was doing for him, but was it worth the aggravation and misery? Surely it was not.

Am I happy in what I am doing now? Well - the work that I do is rewarding. But I can no longer work from home in my precious silence. I have a co-worker who thinks out loud and constantly disturbs me in what I do. The building that I work in is 'condemned' and they can't seem to regulate the temperature or air quality. I have other co-workers who don't have enough to do, who come into my office for prolonged discussions about anything and everything that is not related to my work.

On the plus side, I have a chapel right across the street from my workplace. I can walk over there any time I feel the need. I can offer up my workplace irritations as small crosses that I have been given to bear.

And I still have interactions with some of my former co-workers. They still bring sunshine to my darkest days.

Did I 'get what I wanted' in my new job? I don't know. I don't know what I wanted except knowing that I didn't want to work for that person ever again. Yes - I guess I got what I wanted. I got it at a price, but I got what I wanted. Do we ever get anything for free in this life? Doesn't everything always have a price tag on it?

Who Is My Neighbor?

We had a rough night last night. One of our friends is going through a divorce, and he wanted to come over and talk. It's hard - he's a good person and we like him a lot - and although we don't know his (soon to be ex) wife as well, she seems to be a good person too. Somehow they are just a mis-match, and they're having a tough time with the breakup. We're having a tough time with it as well. We like both of them, and it's hard to think of them apart.

Well, we ended up talking with him until almost 11 PM. He is really questioning whether he is doing the right thing. Our advice to him - if you are both so miserable that you can't live together, then this marriage is not the right thing. God has other plans for both of you.

We didn't get much sleep last night and had a hard time getting to work this morning. But we need to care for our neighbor.

So who is my neighbor? My neighbor is the guy who needs to talk (and sometimes cry) about his divorce. My neighbor is the co-worker who chatters endlessly about her personal life because she has run out of friends and family who will listen to her. My neighbor is the old man at work who wants to talk about food and and travel and home repair, but doesn't have an audience in any of his other co-workers, so he spends a lot of time in my office.

Flashback to Mr. Rogers - "Won't you be, won't you be, please won't you be my neighbor"...

Flashbacks

Today my office mate dialed in to a sales demonstration put on by a small software company that I used to work for. She had the volume up high, and it was impossible for me to tune it out. My former boss was running the demo, and his voice brought back some really bad memories.

I left that company on bad terms, something I have never done in my life. Usually when I quit a job, I try to leave on a positive note. But my boss had done something to me that I just could not tolerate (berated me unreasonably in the presence of a customer) and I left the company in anger and humiliation. I actually told him exactly why I was leaving - something I have never had the courage to do before.

It's sad for me because I really loved the work that I was doing. My co-workers were awesome. I was working from a home office. I thought that it was my dream job. It's tragic how one person or personality can ruin a really good thing in your life.

But there is a bright side to this experience. I went back to my old job, and was welcomed back like the prodigal son (or daughter, in this case). I just recently renewed my contract with them and received an extremely significant pay increase. It is not my dream job, but it's steady work, a really good paycheck, and an 8-hour day. And when I go home, my work does not go home with me. I could say that life is good and everything is fine.

But I still have flashbacks to that software company. Good things that might have been. On the other hand, there were red flags that I should have seen sooner. The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

The Cows Came Home

We have ten steers in our back yard. Yes, ten. Blackie, Spottie, Dottie, Didymus (which means "Twin"), Oreo, Sparky, Spanky, Paleface, Snowball, and Snowflake. We don't have much acreage, but the tenant who owns the cows also rents the farm next door. They spend some time next door and some time in our back yard.

We feel lucky when they come over to our side.

We took the dog for a walk out there today (now that the snow is mostly melted) and the steers came bucking and bounding down the hill to greet us. All this while their owner was unloading feed for them from a big box truck. You would think that feed was more attractive than a couple of humans and a small dog.

What a greeting, to have ten steers bouncing (yes, steers can bounce) up to the fence to say 'hello'. Of course, we usually have a treat for them, but they didn't seem to be very hungry today. They were more interested in the dog and maybe just wanted to say 'hi' to us - who knows. We hung around with each other for quite a while.

Sad that steers are destined to be beef - but joyful that they have the 'personalities' - can cows have personalities? - to bring some joy into peoples' lives while they are here.

When they got tired of the visit, they bounded and bounced back up the hill to the feeding station.

Cows. How many people do YOU know that can find joy in cows?

Zachary's Funeral

Yesterday we buried my sister's cat, Zachary. Funerals are always sad, but bizarrely, sometime burying a pet is much worse than burying a human. What pet has ever deliberately done you harm? Most are creatures that just provide unconditional love, warmth and companionship.

My sister had Zachary longer than she's had her children. He was a beautiful black and white domestic shorthair, and in his younger days, we never knew him because he was your typical 'scaredy cat'. In later years, he endeared us during family gatherings. The food would arrive on the table and with a loud "MEOW" he was underfoot, begging for a treat.

"He has kidney disease, don't feed him anything" my sister would screech, as I dropped him a morsel of chicken or whatever was on the grill. Poor cat was on a special diet to prolong his miserable life. I just wanted him to have something tasty to eat besides dry cat food.

The treats didn't kill him - he lived years beyond the barbeques.

So, we dug a hole for him in our backyard, where our old house used to be (we demolished it last year and built a new house closer to the street). Zachary had been in a crypt for a couple of weeks (actually, a garbage can in the shed) because the ground was frozen and we couldn't dig a grave. My brother-in-law was somewhat grossed out about handling the body - I think it was his first experience with personally burying a pet. I would have been more gentle about placing the cat in the grave, but he sort of unceremoniously dumped Zach out of the garbage can and into the hole... maybe he was just trying to be the 'tough guy'... I don't know.

Zachary had a "Fly Over" - two sets of geese and a helicopter. If a cat can have a military funeral, Zach had it. In a nature sort of way.

We put our wilted Christmas wreaths over the grave, along with some good heavy stones, to discourage the coyotes from digging him up for a snack. My sister and I cried a little bit. My brother-in-lay said "Bye, Zach" as he drove away - and so we cried a little more.

All this for a cat.

Bye, Zach.

Pizza On the Porch

Crazy, crazy people do crazy things when they are tired of Winter and desperate for Spring. Well... we came home from work today and decided to sit out on the porch. It was probably about 47 degrees F - not exactly porch weather, but the lack of a breeze made it tolerable.

We decided to order a delivery pizza for dinner - and eat it out on the porch. Stubbornly, we waited out there for the pizza guy (a good half hour) and then had our dinner on the porch. Remind me to slap myself on the side of my head if I get another cold or sinus infection. What's that commercial? "We all do dumb things."

But I have to admit that the fresh air felt great, it was good to wave to the neighbors driving by, and the flock of red-winged blackbirds that flew over the house gave us a tremendous sense of hope that Winter is on the way out and Spring is right around the corner...

Need Spring Now!!!

OK, I'm tired of all this snow and slop on the roads and gloominess. Need spring now!!! I need sunshine, warm weather, green grass, dandelions, May flowers, violets - SPRINGTIME!!! The snow, cold and gloom are getting me down - I eagerly await the warmer weather... except for the warmer weather than sends rain and snow melt cascading into my cellar... cleanup is a beast.

Send Spring, somebody please!!!